Where is adult peace?

June 1st is a very important day for the whole of India- or should i say, the kids of India. In synchrony with the changing weather, where the brightness of summer leads into the grey sunlight of the rains, we hear little footsteps and sighs of acceptance in the hallways- Polished black shoes and well pressed Uniforms that signify a transition- from a state of carefree life of summer, to the disciplined (and quite a few times, mirthless) school life. June 1st signifies the start of term for schools across the country. Its ironic to note that yesterday- May 31st- the day that signifies the end of the summer vacations- was the last day the noted writer Kamala Das (Surayya) passed away- she was 75.

The irony rests on one of the most influential poems she Wrote- 'Punishment in Kindergarten'- a poem that describes the pain she went through as a child- Indifferent Peers and Rambling teachers. She passed away on the last day of the Summer- the last day of Freedom for the kids.

The Poem (Posted Below) has had quite an impact on my life. Through school and University I've experienced a sea of emotions and gained (hopefully) a couple of drops of knowledge and wisdom.

But this poem always held out hope- that I would find adult peace

Line 15 "The years had sped along stopping briefly,
Line 16 At Beloved Halts and Moving sadly on,
Line 17 My mind has found an adult peace"

Today I look back at the years that have sped by and stop to realise that the fond the memories of school are like little butterflies flitting about in the garden of hope. only that the garden has now turned into a thorny outgrowth-

- Love that was experienced in University and broken by the thorns of heartbreak just after because there were too many things to handle...
-Hopes of its revival that was dashed after University because we had transitioned into different people...
- The genuine affection for friends at school that has now been corrupted to the seeds of envy sown towards colleagues at work in adult life...
-A life of ambition, focus, examinations and play time that has now been swapped with KRA's, Project deadlines, sales targets and Business Parties...
-A life of mirth and laughter during a cricket or basketball match that has now turned into 'Team building exercises'...
-A Life of endless possibilities and boundless joy that has been swapped with a life that has narrow choices, personal skeletons and loneliness...

School was a time when friends were not so hard to come by
School was a time when we learnt that 'Chicks' and 'Chickens' had nothing in common :)
School was a time when regular PT Sessions ensured that we didn't have cholesterol problems and
regular music lessons ensured that we understood that there was more to life than Science, Business and Politics.

Young adulthood has left me more disappointed and depressed than I have ever been.

I would really like to know what Kamala Das meant by 'adult peace'

Now I'll never have the opportunity to ask her- She sleeps in peace.

PUNISHMENT IN KINDERGARTEN- Kamala Das

Today the world is a little more my own.
No need to remember the pain
A blue frocked women caused,throwing
Words at me like pots and pans ,to drain
That honey-coloured day of peace,
"why don't you join the others,
what a peculiar child you are?"

On the lawn ,in clusters ,sat my schoolmates sipping
Sugarcane,they turned and laughed;
Children are funny things, they laugh
In mirth at other's tears ,I buried

My face in the sun-warmed hedge
And smelt the flowers and the pain

The words are muffled now,the laughing faces only a blur.
The years have sped along ,stopping briefly
At beloved halts and moving sadly on.
My mind has found an adult peace .
No need to remember
That picnic day when i lay hidden
By the hedge,watching steel white sun
Standing lonely in the sky.